Expressing love towards all children doesn't equate to identical treatment.

The notion of having a preferred child can often be discerned despite a parent's assertion of impartiality.

In a certain episode of "The Crown," Prince Philip questions Queen Elizabeth II about her favorite child. Implicitly, he suggests that familial members are astute in discerning favoritism. Birth order, temperament, and gender are facets that can influence parenting methods and possibly lead to favoritism, as per a recent study by the American Psychological Association.

Identifying the Favored

Study Findings

Based on a meta-analysis of 30 studies and 14 databases involving over 19,000 individuals, researchers identified patterns highlighting preferential treatment towards daughters and children displaying conscientious and agreeable traits.

These characteristics often dictate parental interactions and resource allocation within the family dynamics.

Who Tends to Be the Favorite?

Children who displayed greater conscientiousness and agreeableness were often treated more favorably by their parents. Lead study author Dr. Alexander Jensen explained that responsibility and temperament, rather than merely age or family dynamics, often drive favoritism.

The Impact of Favoritism

Advantages for the Preferred

Children who receive favorable treatment often benefit in several ways, such as better mental health, stronger emotional regulation, higher academic performance, and healthier interpersonal relationships.

Potential Challenges for the Preferred

While being a preferred child can seem advantageous, it may also lead to overindulgence. This could result in fewer opportunities to develop critical life skills. Furthermore, the pressure to maintain a parent’s attention or approval might restrict personal freedom and growth.

Effects on Other Siblings

Children who perceive themselves as less favored are at higher risk for challenges, including difficulties in school, strained family relationships, and emotional well-being. They may also struggle more with behavioral issues.

Balancing Parental Treatment

Honesty and Awareness

Acknowledging and addressing any differences in treatment is crucial. Parents should strive to ensure that their children understand the reasons behind any variations in approach.

Jensen emphasized the importance of fairness and clarity, as this can help minimize the negative impact of perceived disparities.

The Role of Humor

Positive humor can be a helpful tool for easing tensions, as long as it is not used in a way that belittles or embarrasses the child. For example, when one of Jensen’s daughters pointed out having fewer dresses than her sibling, he explained that her sibling had received hand-me-downs. This explanation satisfied her and resolved the concern.

Parental awareness and communication are crucial in mitigating favoritism. Understanding and acknowledging differential treatment can facilitate fair and transparent parenting practices. It is imperative for parents to engage in open dialogues with their children to address any disparities in treatment and ensure a balanced approach to nurturing each child's individuality.